[Transcripts are generated by a combination of speech recognition and transcribers, and may contain errors.]
00:00:00
NARRATOR
In October of 2011, 4 college students disappeared in the woods near Porter Township Pennsylvania while researching a documentary on children’s author Jakob Stanley. They remain missing to this day. Last month their recordings appeared online.
00:00:15
NARRATOR
In an effort to aid in the investigation, the families of those missing have agreed to release the following sound files. If anyone has information on those missing or the identity of the person or persons who uploaded these files, please use the contact information provided. Anything submitted may be used in future episodes. Certain materials referenced in this podcast, including the published works of Jakob Stanley, are currently protected under U.S. copyright law and may be redacted. For legal reasons, some names have been withheld and voices altered. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcasters and participants, and do not represent the official policy or position of the Iphigenia County Police Department of Porter Township Pennsylvania or its associates. This podcast contains adult themes and language. Listener discretion is advised.
00:01:12
PROFESSOR WHITAKER
File labeled: “001 Rough Cut, Episode 1 - Tell Me a Story: The True Life of Jakob Stanley.”
00:01:29
RJ
[Laughs]
A recording plays from the studio as Tolen tries to get the equipment to work.
TOLEN
(from recording)
Now out of print Stanley’s books have become a shared-
[The recording distorts and cuts out.]
SFX: Tolen hits the talk button, as he plays with the board.
00:01:37
TOLEN (CONT’D)
Sorry, RJ, technology is really angry with me today.
RJ
No worries...
TOLEN
(from recording)
Now out of print Stanley’s books have become a shared secret among a community of die hard horror fans.
RJ
Do we have a contact or am I winging it?
TOLEN
Uh, winging it. All we know is that they printed the obit.
RJ
Gotcha.
SFX: Chuck enters.
TOLEN
Hey, Charlie -
SFX: The booth door slides open disrupting the booth’s sound vacuum, which returns as the door slides closed.
00:01:57
CHUCK
It’s Chuck. ... Here. That place is gross.
SFX: Chuck tosses a take-out bag on the table.
RJ
Yassss! The good yogurt!
SFX: Tolen hits the talk button.
TOLEN
(from the studio)
Guys, no eating in the booth.
SFX: Chuck opens laptop and begins madly typing. RJ riffles through the take-out bag.
CHUCK
That place smells like a port-a potty banged a humidifier ...
SFX: RJ takes a spoonful and nothing else exists.
RJ
It’s like eating clouds of cocaine.
CHUCK
And WHY don’t they deliver?!
SFX: Tolen hits the talk button.
TOLEN
(from the studio)
Come on, please.
SFX: Chuck continues to type, RJ continues to eat.
CHUCK
I think they deny delivery to make people smell that smell. Is there a fetish category for that?
SFX: Tolen hits the talk button.
TOLEN
(from the studio)
Uhhhh.
RJ
There could be... only thing comes to mind is eproctophilia-
SFX: Tolen hits the talk button.
TOLEN
(from the studio)
Guys.
RJ
Which is sexual arousal from farts?
CHUCK
Really?
RJ
But I don’t think that’s what you’re looking for.
SFX: Tolen hits the talk button.
TOLEN
(from the studio)
I’m serious.
SFX: Avery enters the studio.
AVERY
(to students waiting)
YEAH I KNOW. Calm down, JESUS.
SFX: Avery closes the door.
00:02:36
AVERY
Uh, the students who booked the studio are here and they’re having a bit of hissy, so we have to move to the - shit, is that the good yogurt?
RJ
Uh-hummm.
AVERY
Can I haz some?
RJ
Mm-hmm.
SFX: Avery enters the booth. The booth door slides open and closed.
SFX: Tolen hits the talk button.
00:02:47
TOLEN
(from the studio)
Avery!?
AVERY
(mouth full)
What I do?
SFX: Tolen hits the talk button.
TOLEN
(from the studio)
Get out of my booth.
SFX: Chuck stops typing.
CHUCK
Well, hello there.
AVERY
What ya got?
SFX: Chuck slides Avery her computer.
00:02:55
AVERY (CONT’D)
Damn.
CHUCK
And you’re welcome.
AVERY
Verbal high-five.
SFX: Tolen enters the booth. The booth door slides open and closed.
TOLEN
What could you have possibly found in the last 2 min that I haven’t been able to find in 2 years... Oh, shiz.
SFX: There are 4 ominous rings.
AUTOMATED VOICE
(over phone line)
You have been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system. J. Stanley is not available. At the tone please record your message. When you're finished recording...
00:03:26
AVERY/NARRATOR
It is 1982. And, across the United States every grade school child waits with baited breath, for the next release from their new favorite writer.
PODCAST INTRO SEQUENCE
NEWS ANNOUNCER
WN [BEEP REDACTED] TV New York.
MUSIC: [80’s NEWS INTRO THEME]
NEWS ANCHOR ‘83
If your child has been to a school book fair recently, chances are they came home with one of this author’s scary books-
MUSIC: [80’s SUNDAY TALK SHOW THEME]
SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81
Our guest’s first anthology leapt to the top of the New York Times Best Sellers list -
[APPLAUSE]
LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86
- Thank you. Thank you! Over the past few years, he has become a household name-
MUSIC: [PODCAST THEME]
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- Bridging the gap between Alvin Schwartz and Stephen King -
TV PREACHER
- The devil is among us, friends.
CONGREGATION
AMEN!
TV PREACHER
He’s among us, in the form of a writer. -
SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81
- The book might have struggled during it initial release in 1977, but now “Tell Me A Story: Under the Bed That’s Over My Head”, has skyrocketed -
ALSC COMMITTEE REP
- So many parent organizations complained that his work was too sophisticated for children-
TV PREACHER
- He has infiltrated your homes, and your children’s minds-
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- His second macabre anthology “Tell Me A Story: Moonless Sky and Other Friends” sold out from bookstores in mere minutes. Becoming a controversial -
NEWS ANCHOR ‘83
- Stanley's books ranked on the American Library Association’s “100 Most Frequently Challenged Books” from 1981-1993 -
TV PREACHER
- Stanley’s books promote disobedience, violence and the occult! Lord have mercy -
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- The 3rd volume in his “Tell Me A Story” collection “The Floor That Creaks, the Closet That Speaks and the Tip Toes That You Walk On” was released in 1986 to mass acclaim -
ALSC COMMITTEE REP
- All that fussing, just made his work more popular -
TV PREACHER
- Check your children’s rooms, check their bookshelves, check their back-packs! -
YOUTUBER
- I do think his final book, released in ‘99, “TMAS: The nightmare, The Dream and the Places Between,” was by far his best work.-
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- His work has been described as “subversive” and “dark,” I simply describe it as genius.
SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81
- It is my pleasure to introduce -
LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86
- Please welcome -
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- Ladies and gentleman, please welcome -
SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81
- Jakob Stanley.-
LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86
- Mister Jakob Stanley.
PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92
- Author, Jakob Stanley.
[Applause.]
MUSIC: [POD THEME SYNTH]
00:05:17
AVERY/NARRATOR
Little to nothing is known about the life of this elusive author. And since 1999 Jakob Stanley seems to have completely dropped off the face of the earth. Until a short two-line obituary appeared in a small town paper, over a year ago.
TOLEN/NARRATOR
From BOO Labs and Red Cup Media, I'm Tolen Reid -
AVERY/NARRATOR
And I'm Avery Fischer, this is TELL ME A STORY: THE TRUE LIFE OF JAKOB STANLEY.
00:05:47
AVERY/NARRATOR
A little background... My grandmother passed away a month and a half ago, and when I went to Pennsylvania to clear out her room at the home, I stumbled upon her collection of obituaries.
TOLEN
That’s a thing? ... That people do?
AVERY/NARRATOR
I guess? She had one. Grand mom got all the local papers from throughout the entire state of Pennsylvania. And in a recipe card box filed under “S,” I discovered a newspaper clipping that read: "Jakob Stanley, writer, born November 2, 1950, departed this life, August 28, 2009, may your light be reborn."
00:06:25
TOLEN/NARRATOR
Was this the obituary of the famous children's book author Jakob Stanley? Writer, check. Birthdate, check. But, could he have died over a year ago without anyone noticing?
AVERY/NARRATOR
That's when I reached out to Tolen. ... Tolen Reid is a graduate student at [BEEP] University. He has been working on a book about Jakob Stanley for the past few years. ... And, he's also one of my favorite people. Bla-la-la, one more time.
TOLEN
(laughing)
I am so leaving that in.
[Avery laughs.]
00:06:54
TOLEN/NARRATOR
Avery is very much one of my favorite people too. We were both graduate students at [BEEP] University, but she had been on a “break” from school and it was my-
AVERY
Baaaaahh.
TOLEN/NARRATOR
-first time hearing from - What? Shouldn’t -
[The mic cuts out.]
TOLEN/NARRATOR (CONT’D)
We met as undergrads and instantly bonded over our deep love of all things horror and Jakob Stanley.
AVERY/NARRATOR
The obituary came from the Porter Township Gazette in Iphigenia County, Pennsylvania. The publication has little to no online presence, which seems odd, until you try to look up "Porter Township" which also has little to no online presence.
TOLEN/NARRATOR
And, much like The Porter Township Gazette and Porter Township itself, there is practically nothing about the actual life of Jakob Stanley online as well.
AVERY/NARRATOR
Stanley barely did interviews, and the ones he did do, were all pre-internet, so they’re tricky to find.
TOLEN/NARRATOR
But the inter-webs does abhor a vacuum, especially, when a famous person with a “cult” following is involved. So, there are a bunch of rumors that float around on facebook groups and subreddits.
00:07:47
AVERY/NARRATOR
Uhmmm. I don’t know if they fall into the “rumors” category? More like “crackpot conspiratorial Creepy Pastas”... But, I do have a favorite one, and I would kill to find out if it were actually true.
TOLEN
Ah, yes. The white whale. The ark of the covenant.
AVERY/NARRATOR
Here is audio pulled from a youtube link discovered in the bowels of reddit:
YOUTUBER
I’ve been getting A LOT of questions about this recently. But YES Stanley did write a book in 1990 that was so disturbing his publisher never released it. They were afraid it would destroy his career, and it was after THAT, that he became a complete shut in. ... [leaning in] Evidentially, there is a copy of it on the dark web, but you have to join a certain “organization” to view it... totes thought about it.
00:08:35
TOLEN/NARRATOR
Very fun, but completely unsubstantiated... yet.
00:08:44
AVERY/NARRATOR
At this point, I feel that we should say, we didn't set out to make this podcast. We aren't reporters or detectives. Initially, all we were trying to do was find out if our childhood hero had passed away. But, the realization that almost nothing is known about someone who shaped so much of our childhoods and impacted our lives so deeply, left us thunderstruck. Whether he was alive or dead didn't change how little we know about him as a person.
TOLEN/NARRATOR
This is when we decided to start more extensively documenting our research. And, in order to do that properly, we thought it might be beneficial to utilize the university's resources.
00:09:21
PROFESSOR WHITAKER
Stanley's dead? How the hell doesn't anyone know that?
TOLEN/NARRATOR
This is Dr. Sylvia Whitaker, 5 feet 2 inches of denim and nicotine. Whitaker was Avery's advisor when she was a student here and my current one, which is why she’s talking to her and not me.
AVERY
We aren't 100% sure, all we have is that obit.
PROFESSOR WHITAKER
Shit. Always loved Stanley... when his first book came out and found me [she makes an explosion sound.]
[Laughs.]
00:09:55
PROFESSOR WHITAKER (CONT’D)
Mmmm... Okay, I’ll allow it. As long as y’all don't get in the way of any "active" students' projects. I’ll help where I can, but whatever you do, do not use the university's name on anything. We will not be legally responsible for any of your shit. You hear me? ... For the record, she nodded. ... Tolen was too afraid to come talk to me about this wasn't he? [Laughs] For the record, she nodded. ... I know some people at his publishing house, see what I can find out.
AVERY
That, that would be great! Thank you.
PROFESSOR WHITAKER
Don’t thank me yet. The only thing known about the man is that there’s not much known about him... I doubt his publishers will be too much help. Here, two undergrads that might be helpful.
AVERY
Oh, thank you.
PROFESSOR WHITAKER
They won't get college credit for it, but you can pitch it as "real world experience" bullshit. Stanley should be right up their alley.
SFX: “BOO” Intro Sting
00:10:59
RJ
Is there anyone here?
SFX: There is a beat of silence, we only hear the creepy basement and echoes of their breath.
MUSIC: [BOO THEME]
RJ/NARRATOR
We are all comprised of matter and energy.
CHUCK
What was that?!
RJ
I didn’t hear anything?
SFX: A crashing sound comes from the corner of the basement.
CHUCK
Did you freaken’ hear that?!
RJ/NARRATOR
So, if the Law of Conservation of Energy - the basic tenet of thermodynamics - is true, what happens to our energy after we die...
RJ
ORBS!
CHUCK
Oh, hell no.
RJ/NARRATOR
If it cannot simply... disappear?
RJ
Did you see that?
RJ/NARRATOR
We want to know.
CHUCK
Ahhh, nononononono!!!
RJ/NARRATOR
This is Charles Young and I am RJ Álvarez and this is “BOO... Beyond Our Observation.”
CHUCK
Nononononono! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
RJ
Chuck, come back.
MUSIC: [POD THEME]
00:12:02
AVERY/NARRATOR
Ruby Jean Alvarez is a super chill person and an absolute delight. Her show BOO might not have many subscribers, but it’s entertaining as hell, mostly because of Chuck’s screams, but also because she can get anyone to talk to her about pretty much anything.
TOLEN/NARRATOR
Charles “Chuck” Young is a bit of a know it all, which can be hard to take because she's right most of the time. And as you can tell, terrified of ghosts, but a big horror fan none-the-less. They have both been in a few of my TA classes and they’re good students, really smart.
SFX: Phone rings
AUTOMATED VOICE
(over phone line)
You have been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system. J. Stanley is not available. At the tone please...
00:12:41
AVERY/NARRATOR
After leaving a message for “J. Stanley,” we reached out to the Porter Township Gazette. There weren’t any records of who posted the death announcement, but we did find out there is only one funeral home for all of Porter Township.
00:12:58
AVERY/NARRATOR
And THIS is absolutely stunning.
MUSIC: [INTENSE DRAMATIC ORGAN MUSIC]
PALMER FAMILY FUNERAL HOME VM
(over phone line)
Welcome to the Palmer Family Funeral Home and Crematory, overlooking Iphigenia’s Great Cliff’s Peak. Proudly serving the families of Porter Township with compassion and dignity for almost a century. No one is currently available to take your call. If this is an emergency please hang up and dial 911, otherwise stay on the line.
SFX: Loud Beep.
00:13:37
TOLEN
A “J. Stanley” living in the Porter Township borough of Iphigenia County Pennsylvania as of two months ago? Could he be alive!? Did we just leave a message for Jakob “Mother Fraking” Stanley?
AVERY
We used to cut through Porter on the way to my grandparent's house. Town is weird. Like there’s nothing there. Except for cows. Just cows. It’s ... full of cows. Just cows. When I was little, I remember thinking that that was where all of the cows came from. ...Did you know that baby cows will suck your thumb, it is ... adorable-
TOLEN
How long do you think it would take to drive there?
AVERY
A few hours?
00:14:11
TOLEN
Let’s go?
AVERY
What?
TOLEN
Just like on a day trip to check it out.
AVERY
There isn’t much to “check out.”
TOLEN
Come on, leave like super early and drive back after rush hour?
AVERY
If we’re gonna do something like that, we should probably plan it out ahead of time.
TOLEN
Why? We haven’t planned out anything so far?
AVERY
Uh, ok. What if we just like, do a little more background research... for now and-
TOLEN
I’ve been doing background research for years, and have a big fat nothing to show for it. Chuck does “evil google” for 2 seconds and gets a phone number!?
AVERY
You know you can download your own tor browser right?
TOLEN
Avery, come on.
AVERY
Ahhhug. Can we at least wait to hear back from the “J. Stanley” we left a message for?
TOLEN
Seriously? You have any idea how big this is? We are being given the opportunity to get there before any of this drops online. No one even knows the man lived in Pennsylvania, let alone possibly died there? WE would be the main source of information... leaving the hordes in our wake.
00:15:07
AVERY
I don’t know.
TOLEN
What’s your deal?
AVERY
What do you mean?
TOLEN
You should be up for this? This is the most “Avery-like” suggestion I’ve ever made.
AVERY
Uh, I mean -
TOLEN
Do you not wanna do this thing at all?
AVERY
Nonononno, I’m in... I’m just... Aahahha. What if... what if we don’t like what we find? Know what I mean?
TOLEN
Then, we deal with it?
AVERY
[Exhale] What time tomorrow?
TOLEN
Like early. Early-early.
SFX: RJ and Chuck enter the work room, eating pizza.
00:15:41
RJ
“Early-early” what?
AVERY
Tolen wants to go to Porter for the day.
RJ
I’ll go. Chuck?
CHUCK
It’s a little last minute.
AVERY
Yes, exactly, thank you.
CHUCK
But, do you plan on driving there?
TOLEN
Uh, yeah.
CHUCK
Taking your car?
TOLEN
Sure?
CHUCK
Can I drive?
TOLEN
I don’t see why not?
CHUCK
I’m in.
AVERY
What!?
CHUCK
I like driving other people’s cars.
TOLEN
ROAD TRIP!
RJ
Hells’ YA!
SFX: The turning signal clicks on, then off.
00:16:15
TOLEN
(narrating)
It is about 5:30 in the morning. RJ-
RJ
Hiyah!
TOLEN
- And Avery -
AVERY
Bah!
TOLEN
- met at my apartment and we are just about to pick up Chuckles...
AUTOMATED NAV
IN 200 FEET VEER RIGHT.
AVERY
UUUUUuuuuhhhh.
TOLEN
Evidently, Porter is not recognized by the nav, so we are going to use a nearby town and from there... we’ll just wing it, I guess.
AVERY
Can you turn her down?
TOLEN
Wanted to grab some audio of her talking.
AVERY
Have you gotten some?
TOLEN
Yes.
AVERY
Then please turn her down or I swear to God, next time she speaks, I will throw her out the window.
RJ
Someone’s salty in the morning.
AVERY
Bah.
TOLEN
She’s really not that chatty. Aaaaaand... here we are.
SFX: Tolen parks the car. Chuck approaches.
TOLEN (CONT’D)
And here comes Chuck.
AUTOMATED NAV
RECALCULATING...
AVERY
That’s IT.
SFX: A scuffle ensues in the car as Avery lunges from the back seat towards the phone on the dashboard.
00:17:11
TOLEN
DAMMIT WOMAN, it’s off. What the hell is wrong with you?
SFX: Chuck knocks on the driver's side window. Tolen rolls down the window.
TOLEN (CONT’D)
Morning!
CHUCK
Morning.
TOLEN
Oh, I thought I would just get us to the highway...
TOLEN (CONT’D)
...But a deal’s a deal, right?
SFX: Tolen unbuckles his belt and exits the car, crossing to the passenger side. Chuck sits down, shuts the door and readjusts the seat.
RJ
Hey, Chuck.
CHUCK
Morning, ladies.
AVERY
Bah!
SFX: Tolen gets into the passenger side, closes his door and puts on his seat belt.
TOLEN
Okay, ready to roll?
CHUCK
Definitely.
SFX: The car peels out, everyone freaks, Chuck slams on the brakes.
TOLEN
What the hell?
[Chuck begins to laugh hysterically.]
CHUCK
HA, just screwing with ya.
[Everyone in the car breathes a sigh of relief.]
SFX: The car peels out again, everyone freaks.
MUSIC: [POD THEME]
SFX: The mic pops on. It is being manhandled as levels are adjusted.
00:18:23
TOLEN
How did you miss that?
AVERY
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. Had my ear plugs in and -
RJ
We fell asleep, calm down.
AVERY
It was received at 8:23, so only a few minutes.
SFX: A truck pulls up and ominously idles behind their car.
CHUCK
I don’t like how this truck is eyeballing us.
RJ
He just wants our spot.
CHUCK
Yea, move it along, buddy.
SFX: The truck pulls away, as the proper mic levels are achieved.
AVERY
We rolling?
TOLEN
Yes, hit play!
SFX: Avery hits play on the VM message.
00:18:40
JANE
(voice mail recording)
Uhm, hello Ruby Jean, this is J. Stanley, Jane Stanley. You called about Uncle Russys? Uh, he was in fact the writer Jakob Stanley. I can confirm. Jakob’s his middle name, Russell’s his first name. ... Yeah... Lived here, died here, buried here. Uh, there wasn’t any type of ceremony or obituary, so I don’t know about any death announcement. [slight laugh] I didn't even know the Porter Township Gazette had an obit section? [slight laugh] I’ve only been here in the house a few weeks myself.
SFX: A loud crash happens in the background of the VM and a little dog barks and yips.
JANE (CONT’D)
GET! GO ON! GET! ... Sorry. Uh, so yeah, the Jakob Stanley who passed away was the writer Jakob Stanley. If that is what you were looking for? Uhhhh. I hope this helps you with... your documentary. Uh. If you need any other stuff for your thing, let me know ... My door is always open. Well. Enjoy... your ... Byyye. Bye, bye, bye, bye.
SFX: Avery hangs up the phone.
00:19:45
AVERY
Holy shit.
TOLEN
He's really gone.
AVERY
Wow.
RJ
We found his niece? That’s something.
AVERY
Right, it’s more than we had before.
TOLEN
We should get back on the road.
AVERY
Yeah. Wanna head back?
TOLEN
Are you kidding? Now we have to go to Porter.
SFX: Tolen opens the car door.
TOLEN (CONT’D)
“Lived here, died here, buried here.” Gotta check out Uncle Russys’ stomping grounds. ... Gonna pee.
SFX: Tolen exits and closes car door.
MUSIC: [POD THEME}
00:20:13
TOLEN/NARRATOR
Porter Township in rural Iphigenia County Pennsylvania is a place that seems to have hit a dead stop in the 1960s. Random strip malls with gravel parking lots are scattered along overgrown 2 lane roadways. The once thriving quarry is now no more than a teenage make-out spot. The sprawling Mendenhall Institute, formerly an esteemed treatment facility for the mentally ill, shuttered its doors nearly 30 years ago.
AVERY/NARRATOR
And... let us not neglect to mention, that on the very edge of Porter, sits the “prestigious” Amherst Prep School, that opened its doors in 1897, and has progressively allowed females to attend since 2005.
00:21:02
AVERY
[Yawn] Check. Well, we have arrived in Porter Township proper. Uhm, we have stopped at the roadside “pie stand and garden center.”
[RJ, Chuck & Tolen laugh outside the car.]
SFX: They run around in the gravel, shooting each other with pop guns.
AVERY (CONT’D)
Ha. Yes, most impressive. Go on, scamper away, please continue to peruse this establishment’s fineries.
SFX: RJ, CHUCK and Tolen scamper off.
AVERY (CONT’D)
[Exhale] God, I do not like this town. Even when I was a little kid it made me uneasy. Okay, I am recording this so that there is undeniable proof that, I, Avery Fischer, being of questionably sound mind, officially-
SFX: Suddenly, there is a loud knock on the car door.
AVERY (CONT’D)
DEEEAH!
SFX: The car door opens.
00:21:53
RJ
Sorry.
AVERY
Jeezeus Christ.
RJ
Didn’t mean to startle.
AVERY
It’s fine. It’s fine.
RJ
We were wondering what shoofly pie tastes like?
AVERY
Uh, it is no one’s favorite pie, but here. Wonder no more.
SFX: Avery hands RJ some money.
RJ
Yeaaaa.... No one’s favorite pie!
SFX: The car door slams shut.
AVERY
GET TWO!
SFX: The recorder shuts off.
MUSIC: [POD THEME]
00:22:16
TOLEN/NARRATOR
After stopping to pick up a local map, and some pie, I took over the helm from Chuck for our official tour of Porter. We found one block that sort of resembled a town square, but it wasn't exactly welcoming... Porter is the kinda town that unless you have a specific place to go, you kinda don’t have a reason to be there. So, I decided to pick a specific place.
SFX: It is starting to rain. The windshield wipers swipe back and forth throughout.
AVERY
No. Absolutely not.
TOLEN
Come on, it’s the only address we have.
AVERY
I’m guessing we have you to thank for that, Chuck?
CHUCK
I simply provide information, I am not culpable for the nature of its use.
AVERY
I warned you that this isn't the kinda town you go and "check out." It is all acres of private property and COWS.
TOLEN
We’re already in Porter. Wouldn’t it be a shame to not at least try?
CHUCK
It’s inappropriate to just show up to the woman's home.
AVERY
Thank you.
CHUCK
But, as long as I don’t have to get out of the car, I don’t really care.
AVERY
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggg.
RJ
Come on, it’ll be fine.
TOLEN
What if she has like pictures from his childhood? Or JOURNALS! Avery, can you imagine?
RJ
She was awfully sweet in her message.
00:23:16
AVERY
"Sweet?" "Sweet" is what we're going with? Because I was thinking more like "addled," as in "addled shotgun owner."
TOLEN
What if we just drive by her place?
AVERY
It won't be the kinda house you “just drive by." It’s not a neighborhood. It will be a farmhouse, in the middle of nowhere and the only reason to be anywhere near there, is to go to her house. Shit, we’re already heading there aren’t we?
TOLEN
Few minutes out.
AVERY
Uhhhhhggg! I’m staying in the car.
TOLEN
Hells yeah, bae-bae.
RJ
Whoot-whoot!... Hey, everybody, lean in!
SFX: RJ takes a group selfie.
00:23:45
RJ (CONT’D)
Oh, nice, Avery.
AVERY
‘Welcome.
SFX: The turning signal turns on and off, the rain kicks up and the windshield wipers swipe back and forth more frequently.
SFX: RJ tries to post the pic, but it doesn't work.
RJ
Oh.
TOLEN
What?
RJ
Can’t post?
CHUCK
I haven’t had service since we turned off the highway.
SFX: RJ swipes through her messages.
RJ
Oh, but,... oh, never-mind, I see now. “Unsent.” “Unsent.” “Unsent.” “Unsent.” ... Okay. Does anyone have service?
TOLEN
Uhhhh, I don’t.
AVERY
Nope.
RJ
Oh.
SFX: And extremely loud thunder clap rings out through the atmosphere.
00:24:33
AVERY
Middle of the wilderness... raging storm... no cell service... what could possibly go wrong, RJ, what could possibly go wrong?
SFX: Car brakes squeal.
00:24:44
TOLEN
We’re here!
SFX: Again thunder echoes in the distance. Tolen tosses the car in park, turns off the engine and jumps out, slamming the door behind him.
AVERY
Have fun.
SFX: RJ slowly slides out of the car, the moment her door closes Chuck quickly hits the door locks, startling RJ.
[Avery and Chuck snicker.]
SFX: Raindrops lightly tap on the windshield. Then...
00:25:31
AVERY (CONT’D)
Well, the house looks...
SFX: Thunder claps in the distance.
CHUCK
Like a creepy painting?
AVERY
- Like a creepy painting.
CHUCK
It’s definitely haunted, right?
AVERY
Definitely.
SFX: The rain starts picking up.
00:25:52
AVERY (CONT’D)
Wait. What’s all this about now?
CHUCK
What are they doing?
AVERY
No idea.
CHUCK
Is he filming?
AVERY
I don’t know.
CHUCK
What the hell?
AVERY
Nonononononononononnonoooo.
CHUCK
Avery. Make it stop.
AVERY
Honk the horn.
CHUCK
No, that will just draw the “hill people.”
AVERY
What the hell is RJ doing right now. What the hell is RJ doing right now.
CHUCK
I am not getting out of this car.
AVERY
Soooooo not getting out of this car.
SFX: A car door slamming shut and a loud house creak punctuates the transition.
Avery, Chuck and Tolen are now inside with RJ.
00:26:20
AVERY (CONT’D)
You two, are friggen idiots.
RJ
I’m sorry you guys. I know you didn't wanna get out of the car.
CHUCK
GAAAAH! Something just fell on my head! Get it off! Get it off!
RJ
I don't see anything?
CHUCK
LIAR!
00:26:24
TOLEN
Can I please just show you this. Here.
SFX: The video starts, and through the rain, the faint sound of howling and whimpering comes from inside the house.
TOLEN (CONT’D)
(audio from video)
Uh, okay. When we approached the house, we heard a whimpering sound, as you hear now, coming from inside. Most windows are completely blocked by boxes? But the kitchen window was clear, and that's when we saw a small dog pinned under a bookshelf, as you can see. We would call the police, but we don't seem to have any cell service. So, RJ is gonna climb inside the window and free the dog.
SFX: RJ climbs through the window. There is a slight crash when she gets inside.
TOLEN (CONT’D)
You okay?
RJ
(from inside the house)
Yeah. ... Damn, this house is PACKED!
TOLEN
What do you mean?
RJ
(from inside the house)
I can barely move around in here.
TOLEN
RJ?
RJ
(from inside the house)
YEAH. I can barely move around in here. ... Oh Hello pups, poor thing. Oooooh, it's gonna be alwight. Yeeeesss. Yesss. Yeees.
SFX: An extremely loud crashing sound comes from inside the house.
TOLEN
RJ? ... RJ? ... RJ!