top of page

TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 3

[Transcripts are generated by a combination of speech recognition and transcribers, and may contain errors.]


00:00:00


NARRATOR


In October of 2011, 4 college students disappeared in the woods near Porter Township Pennsylvania while researching a documentary on children’s author Jakob Stanley. They remain missing to this day. Last month their recordings appeared online. In an effort to aid in the investigation, the families of those missing have agreed to release the following sound files. If anyone has information on those missing or the identity of the person or persons who uploaded these files, please use the contact information provided. Anything submitted may be used in future episodes. Certain materials referenced in this podcast, including the published works of Jakob Stanley, are currently protected under U.S. copyright law and may be redacted. For legal reasons, some names have been withheld and voices altered. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcasters and participants, and do not represent the official policy or position of the Iphigenia County Police Department of Porter Township Pennsylvania or its associates. This podcast contains adult themes and language. Listener discretion is advised.



00:01:07


PROFESSOR WHITAKER


File labeled: “003 Rough Cut, Episode 3 - Tell Me a Story: The True Life of Jakob Stanley.”



SFX: The mic pops on, it cuts in and out a few times. It is being manhandled as levels are adjusted. The volume fluctuates.



SFX: The team slowly trudges through deep forest leaves.



00:01:26


TOLEN


Check, check, check. ...



SFX: Tolen continues to adjust levels.



TOLEN (CONT’D)


Check, check...



SFX: The levels are set.



JANE


Sorry again for the late start. I coulda’ sworn we said 11. ... There is just so much to take care of with the house and all, I get so darn distracted.



RJ


Don’t worry about it, Jane.



AVERY


She called us at 6 friggen AM to confirm 9 AM.



CHUCK


Yeah, what the hell was that about?



TOLEN


Shhh! - Jane, how much further do you think?



JANE


Only a little ways.



AVERY


It was only “a little ways” 30 minutes ago.



CHUCK


Uhhggg. There isn’t enough caffeine in the world right now.



AVERY


We wouldn’t be so tired, if someone wasn’t jumping at shadows all night.



CHUCK


Hey, that shit freaked you out too.



AVERY


No. You - You were freaking me out.



SFX: Tolen jumps, startled.



TOLEN


BAH!



AVERY


WHAT?!



TOLEN


SNAKE-SnakeSnakeSnakeSnake!



00:02:17 RJ


Oh my God, it’s just a stick.



[Chuck starts to laugh.]



AVERY


Jesus, I thought you saw a bear.



[Chuck is in pain from laughing.]



CHUCK


Oh, Goddamn, I needed that.



TOLEN


I know what a snake looks like and that was a friggen snake.



SFX: The wind suddenly howls through the trees ominously causing Chuck’s laugh to fade.



AVERY


Wouldn’t it be great if the camper still runs?



CHUCK


Yeah, and we can drive it the hell out of here.



RJ


I wish I could shoot an episode of BOO at the Mendenhall.



CHUCK


Thank God that’s not happening.



TOLEN


That reminds me, in case the camper doesn’t start, RJ I wanna be sure we take pics and video of every square inch of it.



RJ


You got it.



00:03:00


RJ (CONT’D)


Uhm, hey Jane, out of curiosity... How far away are we from the Mendenhall?



CHUCK


Don’t you even think about it.



JANE


(over her shoulder)


Uhm, well it’s right past that ridge of trees, over there... I think.



AVERY


So, we’re currently walking in the infamous haunted Mendenhall wood?



CHUCK


Stop.



JANE


(over her shoulder)


I mean, yeah. All of it is.



SFX: An owl screeches.



CHUCK


Shit.



JANE


This looks right. Okay, back on course.



AVERY


We were off course?



JANE


I got it, right over here... come along.



SFX: The team trudges after Jane.



RJ


At least it’s not raining like yesterday.



SFX: Thunder crashes in the distance.



AVERY


You just had to say it, didn’t you?



00:03:57


PODCAST INTRO SEQUENCE



NEWS ANNOUNCER


WN [BEEP REDACTED] TV New York.



MUSIC: [80’s NEWS INTRO THEME]



NEWS ANCHOR ‘83


If your child has been to a school book fair recently, chances are they came home with one of this author’s scary books-



MUSIC: [80’s SUNDAY TALK SHOW THEME]



SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81


Our guest’s first anthology leapt to the top of the New York Times Best Sellers list -



MUSIC: [LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW INTRO APPLAUSE]



LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86


- Thank you. Thank you! Over the past few years, he has become a household name-



MUSIC: [PODCAST THEME]



PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92


- Bridging the gap between Alvin Schwartz and Stephen King -



TV PREACHER


- The devil is among us, friends.



CONGREGATION


AMEN!



TV PREACHER


He’s among us, in the form of a writer. -



SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81


- The book might have struggled during it initial release in 1977, but now “Tell Me A Story: Under the Bed That’s Over My Head”, has skyrocketed -



ALSC COMMITTEE REP


- So many parent organizations complained that his work was too sophisticated for children-



TV PREACHER


- He has infiltrated your homes, and your children’s minds-



PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92


- His second macabre anthology “Tell Me A Story: Moonless Sky and Other Friends” sold out from bookstores in mere minutes. Becoming a controversial -



NEWS ANCHOR ‘83


- Stanley's books ranked on the American Library Association’s “100 Most Frequently Challenged Books” from 1981-1993 -



TV PREACHER


- Stanley’s books promote disobedience, violence and the occult! Lord have mercy -



PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92


- The 3rd volume in his “Tell Me A Story” collection “The Floor That Creaks, the Closet That Speaks and the Tip Toes That You Walk On” was released in 1986 to mass acclaim -



ALSC COMMITTEE REP


- All that fussing, just made his work more popular -



TV PREACHER


- Check your children’s rooms, check their bookshelves, check their back-packs! -



YOUTUBER


- I do think his final book, released in ‘99, “TMAS: The nightmare, The Dream and the Places Between,” was by far his best work.-



PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92


- His work has been described as “subversive” and “dark,” I simply describe it as genius.



SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81


- It is my pleasure to introduce -



LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86


- Please welcome -



PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92


- Ladies and gentleman, please welcome -



SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81


- Jakob Stanley.-



LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86


- Mister Jakob Stanley.



PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92


- Author, Jakob Stanley.



[Applause.]



MUSIC: [POD THEME SYNTH]



AVERY/NARRATOR


Little to nothing is known about the life of this elusive author. And since 1999 Jakob Stanley seems to have completely dropped off the face of the earth. Until a short two-line obituary appeared in a small town paper, over a year ago.



TOLEN/NARRATOR


From BOO Labs and Red Cup Media, I'm Tolen Reid -



AVERY/NARRATOR


And I'm Avery Fischer, this is TELL ME A STORY: THE TRUE LIFE OF JAKOB STANLEY.



SFX: The team and Jane are still trudging through the haunted forest.



00:06:09


JANE


(yelling from ahead)


Ah-ha! I knew it! I just knew it. Right up here!



AVERY


It better be.



CHUCK


So, what is the deal with this camper van? Why is it so important?



TOLEN


I thought you read Stanley?



CHUCK


I did, but like a normal person, not an obsessive fanboy.



AVERY


Besides his first anthology, it is where he wrote all of his books.



RJ


He would put in little easter eggs throughout each of the books about the camper van. It is legend.



AVERY


It’s also the setting of some of his short stories.



TOLEN


There is even an entire segment in his 3rd book-



CHUCK


Right, right, whatever, this better be worth it.



TOLEN


Oh, it will be... I have a feeling.



RJ


Damn, I need to pee so bad.



JANE


Guys! I found it! It’s right down here!



SFX: The team rush to the crest of the ridge and look down into the gully.



JANE (CONT’D)


TA-DA!



00:06:58


TOLEN


Oh, my sweet dear lord!



AVERY


It’s the camper van.



CHUCK


That’s no camper van!



SFX: Chuck runs down the gully to the side of the not camper van.



CHUCK (CONT’D)


It’s an FMC 2900R!



RJ


That collection of sounds means nothing to me.



SFX: Chuck walks alongside the FMC.



CHUCK


In the 1970s the Food Machinery Corporation diversified their production. In doing so, they ended up creating one of the most monumental recreational vehicles known in the world, the FMC 2900R. They were only manufactured from 1973 to 1976, and only a few hundred still exist today. And this - THIS - is one of them.



AVERY


Damn.



RJ


Chuck has full on car boner.



SFX: RJ starts taking pictures of the FMC.



CHUCK


This isn’t a camper van, this is a Golden God, a behemoth, a leviathan. A mythological creature that commands the respect of being called: King of the Road.



00:07:54


TOLEN


So, more like an RV?



CHUCK


WHAT? Do not abbreviate, not for this, this, THIS -



AVERY


This “Golden God,” yeah we get it Chuck, very happy you’re finally on board. - Shall we?



SFX: The team approaches the RV. A woodpecker pecks in the distance. It begins to rain lightly.



JANE


Tolen would you care to do the honors?



SFX: Jane produces a key and hands it to Tolen.



TOLEN


I actually think Chuck should do it. Chuck?



SFX: Tolen gives the keys to Chuck.



SFX: Chuck puts the keys in the lock.



CHUCK


Ooooohhh! Here we go.



SFX: Chuck unlocks the RV and opens the door.



SFX: Chuck steps up to enter, Tolen stops her.



00:08:22


TOLEN


Hold on, hold on. I want everyone to be careful. We saw how the house was, no offense Jane.



JANE


None taken.



TOLEN


We don’t need another RJ avalanche.



AVERY


Got it.



TOLEN


I don’t want anyone else getting hurt.



RJ


Understood.



TOLEN


I’m serious about this.



AVERY


100% agree.



TOLEN


Maybe we should look through the windows first-



CHUCK


(from inside the RV)


It’s empty.



TOLEN


WHAT?!



SFX: The entire group except for Jane piles inside. The tires bounce a squeak with each jostling step.



RJ


Oh wow.



AVERY


So much orange right now.



TOLEN


Check the cabinets!



SFX: The cabinets click and clack open and shut, so many cabinets. The rain hits the roof of the FMC, it is coming down a little harder now.



AVERY


I got nothing.



RJ


Nothing.



CHUCK


Nope.



TOLEN


I don’t understand. Jane? - Where’s Jane?



JANE


(from outside the RV)


Out here!



TOLEN


Where is everything?



JANE


I don’t know?



TOLEN


Did you clear it out?



JANE


No.



RJ


Could it have been robbed?



JANE


I don’t think so?



TOLEN


So... so what happened?



JANE


I have no idea. I’ve actually never been inside it.



00:09:22


TOLEN


You’ve never been inside?



JANE


As far as I know, it’s exactly how he left it.



CHUCK


(from the driver’s seat)


And he left it in pristine condition! Jane, you should really be selling this, not giving it away.



TOLEN


Chuck.



CHUCK


I’m sorry guys, but come on.



RJ


She’s right, Jane. You should try to sell this.



AVERY


It is amazing.



JANE


I’ll take your word for it.



CHUCK


Bet you could get a lot for this -



JANE


I don’t want to mess around with selling. I kinda just want it gone.



CHUCK


- Maybe well over 10k.



SFX: Jane bangs the side of the FMC.



JANE


I get IT. I SHOULD sell it, but I’m NOT so you should just TAKE THE THING! ... That was one hell of a walk, I gotta go use the little girl’s tree, excuse me.



SFX: Jane walks out into the woods.



00:10:06


AVERY


Uh, maybe you should go with her.



RJ


Uhm, no thanks.



AVERY


I thought you just said you had to pee?



RJ


Her outburst made it suck back up into my body.



AVERY


Fair enough. Ok, so what should we do now?



CHUCK


Let’s see if this kitten will purr for mommy.



RJ


Gross.



CHUCK


Yup, regretted it as soon as I said it. On three! ... OOOONNE! ... TWOOO! ...



SFX: Chuck turns the key. The ancient engine of the behemoth, sputters, with he-heee-heeaaavve and another he-heee-heeaaavve.



CHUCK (CONT’D)


Come on.



SFX: Yet another round of he-heee-heeaaavve and another he-heee-heeaaavve. Nothing.



CHUCK (CONT’D)


Shit.



RJ


We can ask around at the Homestead about a tow?



TOLEN


I guess. Avery, what do you think? ... Avery? ... Avery?



AVERY


(distracted)


Yeah... I could eat.



TOLEN


What? What are you doing?



AVERY


Do you see that?



RJ


What?



AVERY


That. That riiiight there.



SFX: There is a click of a latch, and then the door to a secret compartment swings open with a haunted house creak.



RJ


Oh, damn.



TOLEN


What in the hell?



AVERY


Secret compartment.



SFX: Chuck walks back to them.



CHUCK


This can’t be good.



00:11:12


RJ


Is someone gonna look inside?



TOLEN


Avery.



AVERY


Why do I have to do it?



TOLEN


Why don’t you wanna do it?



AVERY


Why don’t you wanna do it?



TOLEN


You found it.



RJ


Move.



SFX: RJ reaches into the secret cabinet, her arm smacks inside.



RJ (CONT’D)


I got something.



SFX: She pulls out several Altoid’s tins that are rusted shut, something rattles around inside.



RJ (CONT’D)


Uh. Okay.



AVERY


Are those Altoid’s tins?



SFX: RJ shakes it, whatever is inside rattles around.



CHUCK


A little rusted metal box of nightmares.



RJ


There are a few of them back here.



SFX: RJ tries to open one.



RJ (CONT’D)


I can’t get it open.



TOLEN


Let me try.



SFX: Tolen tries and can’t get it open



CHUCK


Why do you want to open it?



AVERY


Give it here.



SFX: Avery tries. She also can’t get it open.



AVERY (CONT’D)


Damn.



TOLEN


If Avery can’t do it, it’s impossible. Those weird tiny hands are amazingly strong.



RJ


We’ll have to break it open.



AVERY


Let’s bag them for now. Is there anything else back there?



SFX: Tolen bags tins. Using her cell phone, RJ leans deep in the secret compartment.



RJ


(From inside the compartment)


Uh... I see... well there is a bunch of books... and a bible? Oh and this here.



SFX: RJ hits another secret latch and another compartment opens on the other side of the RV. It creaks open.



AVERY


Holy shit.



TOLEN


Whoa.



CHUCK


Can we all stop opening things until we are all prepared.



AVERY


Going in.



SFX: Avery approaches the secret cupboard and leans inside.



TOLEN


Chuck, can you bag up the books?



AVERY


(from inside the new secret cupboard)


Uh. Ok, in here there is ... a very old camcorder ... a sketchbook and ... a folio? ... I think? Let me see, can someone grab these ... as... I pass them out?



TOLEN


On it.



SFX: Avery passes out the camcorder and leans back in and pulls out a large folio and sketch book.



SFX: Avery sits on the floor and opens the folio.



00:12:46


AVERY


WOW. Look, the folio is full of illustrations.



RJ


Oh, my.



SFX: RJ starts taking pictures of the folio standing over Avery.



AVERY


I mean, they’re beautiful?



RJ


But...



AVERY


Yeah.



TOLEN


Oh my God, did we just find a rough draft? ... Or part of the unpublished manuscript?!



RJ


Chuck, what’s in the sketchbook?



SFX: Chuck opens the sketchbook.



CHUCK


Uhm, just a bunch of landscapes?



AVERY


Wait, wait. Do not analyze yet. We are burning daylight.



CHUCK


Yes, exactly.



AVERY


Let’s rain-proof them and pack them up.



RJ


Let me get a few more pics of those folio illustrations.



SFX: RJ snaps a few more pics.



TOLEN


This is so exciting!



RJ


Got it, thanks.



SFX: Tolen starts packing the folio.



00:13:27


RJ (CONT’D)


Might not need to worry about rain-proofing.



SFX: The rain has stopped.



AVERY


Thank God it stopped. ... Where’s Jane?



RJ


(calling out)


Jane? JANE?



AVERY


(calling out)


JANE!



SFX: The group scrambles outside the RV.



RJ


She couldn’t have gone far?



TOLEN


Yeah, it hasn’t been that long.



AVERY


The woman got us lost like 20 times on the way here. She’s probably wandering aimlessly?



RJ


Looking for the right pee-pee tree.



AVERY


[Exhale] Damn it. ...


(calling out)


JANE!



TOLEN


(calling out)


JANE?



RJ


(calling out)


Jane?



CHUCK


(calling out)


JANE!



SFX: The group begins calling out into the woods, searching for Jane.



MUSIC: [POD THEME]



SFX: The mic clicks on, Avery is alone in the FMC.



00:14:25


AVERY


(narration)


It is now 3:43 PM. We just got back from searching the woods. No sign of Jane. A) We have no idea how the hell to get back to Jakob’s house from here. And B) We finished all the snacks about 30 minutes ago. So, things are going well.



SFX: Heavy footsteps are heard approaching from the woods.



RJ


(from outside the RV)


Did you hear that?



AVERY


Oh God, please be Jane.



SFX: Avery scrambles out of the RV. RJ, Tolen and Chuck are already outside approaching the sound.



RJ


(yelling)


JANE?



CHUCK


(yelling)


Jane!



TOLEN


(yelling)


Jane?!



RJ


(yelling)


Jane, are you ok?



AVERY


(yelling)


Jane!



TOLEN


(yelling)


Jane?!



AVERY


(yelling)


Hello?!



SFX: The footsteps continue to approach, but from the distance they hear the booming yet kind voice.



WALLACE


(yelling from a distance)


HELLO?



CHUCK


(panicked whisper)


HILL PEOPLE.



RJ


(yelling)


Hello?



WALLACE


(yelling from a distance)


Hello?



AVERY


Uhh?



00:15:18


WALLACE


(yelling from a distance)


I am not Jane, I repeat, I am not Jane.



AVERY


Kinda figured that out.



WALLACE


(yelling from a distance)


Do you need assistance?



RJ


(yelling)


Uh... maybe?



CHUCK


(panic whisper)


No, RJ please... hill people!



RJ


Chuck, the man is like right there.



RJ (CONT’D)


(yelling)


We’re looking for our friend?



WALLACE


(yelling)


Ah. Well, I haven’t seen anyone... my house is right over that-a-way. So, they ain’t between here and there.



RJ


(yelling)


Uh, thank you.



WALLACE


(yelling)


No problem. ... Uhm. Are you sure y’all okay?



AVERY


This is ridiculous.



SFX: Avery walks to Wallace.



AVERY (CONT’D)


HI, I’m Avery.



SFX: Wallace approaches Avery, his hand out-stretched, they shake.



WALLACE


Wallace Embry.



AVERY


Hey. Uh. We were brought out here by Jane Stanley, not sure if you know her? She’s seemed to have wandered off and we’re a little stranded.



WALLACE


This Jane person, she at Russell’s place?



AVERY


Yeah, how’d you know?



00:16:11


WALLACE


My uncanny prowess of deduction.



AVERY


It’s the only other house for miles isn’t it?



WALLACE


Well look at you, Nancy Drew! Better step up my game.



[Avery laughs]



AVERY


Wallace, this is RJ, Tolen and Chuck.



RJ


Hiyah!



WALLACE


Hiyah, RJ. Tolen, Chuck.



TOLEN


Nice to meet you.



CHUCK


Hey, man.



SFX: Wallace helps himself to a tree stump and takes a load off.



WALLACE


Damn y’all. The way you’ve been carrying on about this Jane person, I didn’t know if I should be concerned for her safety or scared she’s loose!



[The group laughs.]



WALLACE (CONT’D)


No y’all I’m serious. Which one is it?!



CHUCK


Probably both?



WALLACE


Y’all buying the FMC? Not to pry, but I mean, I can’t imagine any other reason for y’all to be out here.



TOLEN


Yes right, the FMC. Uh, Jane was going to donate it to us... We’re doing a documentary on the author Jakob Stanley, he was her uncle.



WALLACE


No shit? A documentary. That sounds like pants of the fancy variety. ... So, Russell was a writer?



TOLEN


Yes, a very accomplished one.



WALLACE


Well, I’ll be damned. He never talked about that with me.



TOLEN


You knew him?



WALLACE


We’ve been neighbors for awhile. He was an older gentleman, so I’d help him out with things... clear trees, shovel snow, an’at.



TOLEN


Would you be willing to do an interview? We have so many questions-



WALLACE


Hold on, now ... I didn’t know him that well.



AVERY


Sorry. I guess we’re just a little overeager. We currently only have one interview and she hadn’t seen him in 18 years.



WALLACE


Eighteen years, huh?



00:17:35


TOLEN


But you on the other hand?



WALLACE


Uh-huh. Y’all would have to be pretty desperate to scrape the bottom of this barrel. I didn’t know he could write his name, let alone a book.



RJ


Guys, it’s not that bad, Jane did let us take whatever we wanted from his house?



WALLACE


Did she now?



TOLEN


We haven’t done a deep dive into it yet, but there might be some really compelling material there. And in the RV we found a few things... So you’re right maybe it’s not that bad.



WALLACE


I mean... I have lived here for the last 20 years, so... maybe I might be able to fill in some gaps for ya. Might not be worth an interview though?



TOLEN


No, oh my God, totally worth an interview. Anything, any information you have on him from the last 20 years, we would be absolutely grateful for.



WALLACE


All right, all right, I’ll think about it. ... So, what was the plan here? Get this beauty up and running?



CHUCK


And hopefully drive her home. Although, I don’t know how we would get her out of here.



WALLACE


Oh, there’s a fire road that way... you’re just gonna have to finesse that patch over there, but it’s doable.



CHUCK


There is a fire road nearby?!



AVERY


Are you kidding me?!



CHUCK


We could have driven here?!



AVERY


Goddamn it, Jane.



RJ


But, the FMC isn’t running.



WALLACE


Well that’s a goddamn travesty!



CHUCK


Couldn’t agree with you more.



WALLACE


Huh. There fuel in the tank?



CHUCK


Gauge says there is.



WALLACE


Mind if I take a look? ... Don’t worry I’m a licensed mechanic.



CHUCK


REALLY? Oh thank GOD!



TOLEN


Are you serious!?



WALLACE


Serious as a heart attack, Jack. May I approach?



TOLEN


Go right ahead.



WALLACE


Let me check the engine first before I make any promises, now.



AVERY


No worries, have at it.



WALLACE


If I’m being honest, I’ve been wanting to get my hands on this for quite some time! Chuck you wanna help me out, bud, and try to start her up for me.



CHUCK


Sure.



SFX: Wallace heads to the engine and Chuck scampers to the driver’s seat.



00:19:24


AVERY


Let’s pack up and see if this guy will let us use his phone.



TOLEN


Agreed.



SFX: RJ, Tolen and Avery head to the back of the RV as Wallace and Chuck test the engine.



WALLACE


(in the distance)


Okay, starter’ up.



SFX: Chuck tries the engine it chugs like before.



WALLACE (CONT’D)


(yelling over the engine)


Alright, cut it.



SFX: Chuck cuts the engine.



CHUCK


‘Kay.



SFX: RJ stops in the doorway of the RV.



RJ


Hey guys? ... Check this out.



AVERY


What is it?



SFX: Avery and Tolen cross to RJ at the door.



RJ


Look at the back of the FMC.



SFX: Wallace and Chuck test the engine again.



WALLACE


(in the distance)


Starter up.



WALLACE (CONT’D)


(yelling over engine)


Alright, cut it.



SFX: Chuck cuts the engine.



WALLACE (CONT’D)


Gimmie a sec.



CHUCK


‘Kay.



RJ


Now come to the doorway and look inside.



AVERY


OH!



RJ


You see it?



SFX: Wallace and Chuck test the engine again.



WALLACE


(in the distance)


Okay, starter up.



SFX: Chuck tries the engine, it chugs.



AVERY


(yelling over engine)


The back of the RV...



TOLEN


(yelling over engine)


WHAT?



AVERY


(yelling over engine)


The inside is smaller than the outside.



TOLEN


(yelling over engine)


Reverse T.A.R.D.I.S.?



AVERY


(yelling over engine)


Complete reverse T.A.R.D.I.S..



WALLACE


(yelling over engine)


Cut it.



CHUCK


Okay.



SFX: Chuck cuts the engine.



SFX: A twig snaps in the distance.



RJ


What was that?


(calling out)


JANE?!



SFX: RJ takes off towards the sound.



AVERY


RJ, wait up.


(calling out)


JANE?!


(to Tolen)


I won’t let her go too far.



SFX: Avery and RJ scramble towards the sound, calling out for Jane.



SFX: The mic cuts out and back on.



SFX: Wallace and Chuck approach Tolen.



WALLACE


They find your friend?



00:20:38


TOLEN


Thought we heard something out there - how’s it looking?



WALLACE


Well, it’s not the battery, might be the fuel filter or spark plugs... I might be able to at least get it running long enough to get it to a shop.



TOLEN


That would be great!



WALLACE


I have to run a few errands, but how about this, if I can fix it, not saying I can, but IF I can, I won’t charge ya.



CHUCK


REALLY?



TOLEN


Holy crap.



WALLACE


It would be my pleasure. This whole thing seems... exciting. Not many documentaries being done around here, know what I mean. Us hill people gotta get our big city fun where we can.



CHUCK


Oh. You heard that.



WALLACE


Kid, my dead grandmama heard that, and her body’s in Georgia.



RJ


(yelling in the distance)


We found her!



WALLACE


Well, mystery is solved! Here’s the card for my shop, house number’s on there too. Gimme a call in a few hours. - Y’all at the Homestead?



CHUCK


Yeah, but-



WALLACE


Gotta run. Tolen, Chuck.



SFX: Wallace starts to head off towards his house.



TOLEN


Uh, we were planning on heading out tonight?



SFX: Wallace turns back to Tolen and Chuck, already several feet into the tree line.



WALLACE


Oh. Are ya now?



TOLEN


But, uh... I’m sure we can stay one more night, to see if you can get the RV running.



CHUCK


Seriously?



00:21:43


TOLEN


We’ll make it work. Whatever you need.



SFX: Wallace turns back around and starts walking.



WALLACE


(calling out)


All right guys, have a good one!



TOLEN


(calling out)


You too, man!



SFX: RJ, Avery and Jane meet up with Chuck and Tolen.



RJ


Look who we found.



JANE


I’m so sorry.



AVERY


Where’s Wallace?



TOLEN


He had to head out. Jane, are you ok?



JANE


I’m a little run down.



TOLEN


We looked all over for you?



JANE


I didn’t mean to make you worry about me. But it’s sweet that you did.



CHUCK


I’ll pack up the stuff. Uh. Tolen care to inform them of our change in plans?



SFX: Chuck walks back to the FMC to grabs the bags.



AVERY


What is she talking about?



TOLEN


It’s nothing.



JANE


Did you guys find anything interesting?



TOLEN


Not sure yet, but, maybe!



JANE


Oh, good. So it wasn’t a total waste! I heard the poor old girl isn’t running?



AVERY


What did Wallace say?



TOLEN


He is gonna work on it, we have to call him in a few hours.



RJ


A few hours?



TOLEN


Yeah, we’ll talk about it, but first let’s get back to the house.



JANE


Uhm. Who’s Wallace?



RJ


He’s your neighbor, lives up that way.



AVERY


He is your neighbor right?



JANE


Uh... is he a big tall fella’? Not old, but older?



RJ


Pretty much.



JANE


Coveralls on?



AVERY


I mean, he didn’t have coveralls on, but he’s a mechanic?



JANE


Yeah, that’s the neighbor.



[Jane whimpers.]


RJ

Jane, do you need water or anything? You seem a little woggy?


JANE

I think I just need to get out of these dang woods.


RJ

Here’s a bottle of water, just in case.


JANE

Thank you RJ, you are just the sweetest. Oh! What time is it? I’m not so good at seeing in the dark.


AVERY

Then let’s move it people, this train is leaving the station.


SFX: A recorder clicks on.


SFX: The team sits at a table in the local townie bar. The game is on.


00:23:13

TOLEN

And we are rolling.


AVERY

You wanna start or should I?


TOLEN

I mean whatever?


RJ

Your tab right?


TOLEN

Yeah, of course.


CHUCK

Can you... get me... another Belgian Triple?


RJ

Ya.


SFX: RJ gets up from the table and heads to the bar.


CHUCK

THANK YOU RJ...


TOLEN

So-


CHUCK

I would like to start, actually.


AVERY

Please.


CHUCK

Never-mind, you talk.


[Avery snorts.]


AVERY

Oh-kaay. Uh. [Clears throat] Guess who’s spending another night at the Homestead?


CHUCK

I don’t like it.


AVERY

Oh, you don’t like the Homestead?


CHUCK

NO!


AVERY

Why not?


CHUCK

You know like... a traveling carnival always has those “dark rides”? That’s the industry term...B-TEE-DUBS.


TOLEN

You are a fount of knowledge, Chuck.


CHUCK

Fount you, Tolen!


AVERY

So “dark rides”?


CHUCK

Yeah! Like the Spook-A-Rama in Coney or Haunted Mansion at Disney?


AVERY

Yeah?


CHUCK

It’s like trying to sleep on one of those rides and it just keeps going and going and going - BELGIAN TRIPLE!


SFX: RJ approaches with another round of drinks for the table.


AVERY

Oooof. Shots?


TOLEN

Oh, I didn’t want anoth-


RJ

Tough titty my friend, tonight we drink.


RJ (CONT’D)

How far have you gotten?


AVERY

Absolutely nowhere.


RJ

Ok.


00:24:34

RJ (CONT’D)

(Narrator voice)

After a long day of walking though the Pennsylvania woods, we finally made it to Jakob Stanley’s famous FMC 2900R. To the naked eye, it appeared to be empty, until a series of secret compartments revealed a random assortment of items. But, we soon discovered our guide, Stanley’s niece, Jane, missing. We tried to find her, until Jane’s concerned neighbor, Wallace Embry approached. He offered to help get the FMC up and running as Jane returned from her jaunt in the nearby woods. We then proceeded to argue for 3 hours about the possibility of staying in Porter for one more night. At that point we heard from Wallace promising he could have the FMC ready for us tomorrow. Feeling guilty that the man was willing to work on the RV for free, we all begrudgingly agreed to stay. Dinner was eaten, booze consumed, and here we are folks... trapped one more night in Porter Township... getting drunk at the one bar within walking distance of the Homestead, named, Peach’s. ... That about cover it?


AVERY

Amazing.


RJ

Good. Now drink up, bitches!


SFX: They all tap the table with their shot glasses and finish them off, slamming the empties back on the table.


TOLEN

Oh, is that tequila? Bah.


AVERY

Whoooooo.


RJ

Another?


CHUCK

Uh-huh!


TOLEN

No, nooooo. We still have all the items from the RV to review.


AVERY

Oh give it up! No work’s getting done tonight.


TOLEN

Maybe not by you, but I plan on it. Also I still need to leave Whitaker a voice mail update on her office line... Chuck where did you stow the bags?


CHUCK

I did it. I grabbed bag.


TOLEN

Yes, are they in the trunk or?


CHUCK

It’s in the trunk.


RJ

Chuck, how many bags did you grab from the RV?


TOLEN

There were 3.


CHUCK

No.


TOLEN

Chuck, there were 3.


CHUCK

I don’t think so.


AVERY

There were 3.


RJ

The books were in one, the camcorder and tins-


CHUCK

HAUNTED TINS!


RJ

-were in the second, and then the sketchbook and folio were in it’s own thing.


CHUCK

Yeah.


00:26:24

TOLEN

Christ! Did you get the bags?


[Chuck starts to laugh.]


CHUCK

You guys seem really mad.


RJ

She’s stoned.


TOLEN

Damn it, Chuck.


CHUCK

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa... We’re all gonna flipping see the big guy tomorrow, so calm the f-down!


RJ

For some reason, Chuck stops swearing when she’s high.


AVERY

Ah, I was wondering about that.


TOLEN

You’re right Chuck, there’s no reason to be mad. We’ll just grab them tomorrow.


CHUCK

Seeee! Now every one’s fine. SO! Shots! Shots! Shots!


RJ, AVERY & CHUCK

Shots! Shots! shots!


TOLEN

FINE. I got it.


SFX: Tolen gets up from the booth to go to the bar. The rest start banging on the table.


RJ, AVERY & CHUCK

YEA!!!


BAR PATRON

SHUT THE FUCK UP.


SFX: They all go silent.


RJ

Uh...


SFX: And with that the recorder abruptly shuts off.


00:27:17

PROFESSOR WHITAKER

End of file labeled: “003 Rough Cut, Episode 3 - Tell Me a Story: The True Life of Jakob Stanley.”


00:27:34

NARRATOR

The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcasters and participants. If anyone has information on those missing or the identity of the person or persons who uploaded these files, please use the contact information provided. Anything submitted may be used in future episodes.


00:28:01

ANNOUNCER

“Tell Me a Story: The True Life of Jakob Stanley” is a biweekly podcast produced by Silvia Whitaker. Please, rate, review and subscribe. If you have information on the missing, know the identity of the person or persons who uploaded these files, have a theory about the case, or have had your own unexplainable experiences in Iphigenia County, Pennsylvania, we want to hear from you. Please record a message via our website. Messages may be used in future episodes. Voices, will be altered and names redacted to protect your anonymity. Episode 4 will be released Wednesday, January 5th, 2022.



[Transcripts are generated by a combination of speech recognition and transcribers, and may contain errors.]

bottom of page