TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 6

[Transcripts are generated by a combination of speech recognition and transcribers, and may contain errors.]

00:00:05

NARRATOR

In October of 2011, 4 college students disappeared in the woods near Porter Township Pennsylvania while researching a documentary on children’s author Jakob Stanley. They remain missing to this day. Last month their recordings appeared online.

00:00:21

NARRATOR (CONT’D)

In an effort to aid in the investigation, the families of those missing have agreed to release the following sound files. If anyone has information on those missing or the identity of the person or persons who uploaded these files, please use the contact information provided. Anything submitted may be used in future episodes. Certain materials referenced in this podcast, including the published works of Jakob Stanley, are currently protected under U.S. copyright law and may be redacted. For legal reasons, some names have been withheld and voices altered. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcasters and participants, and do not represent the official policy or position of the Iphigenia County Police Department of Porter Township Pennsylvania or its associates. This podcast contains adult themes and language. Listener discretion is advised.

00:01:12

PROFESSOR WHITAKER

File labeled: “006 Rough Cut, Episode 6 - Tell Me a Story: The True Life of Jakob Stanley.”

SFX: A recorder clicks on.

SFX: The team sits in the bustling dining room of the Homestead during breakfast rush.

00:01:29

TOLEN

And we are rolling.

CHUCK

I could have sworn I left them in the room.

TOLEN

Your Stanley gloves? I’m sure they’ll turn up.

Avery?

AVERY

Its good to have you guys back!

TOLEN

Good to be back.

CHUCK

It will be even better when we are back at home.

AVERY

Very much agree.

TOLEN

Why are you wearing my back-up jacket?

CHUCK

You have “back-up jackets”?

AVERY

You know how chilly I get.- So, where should we start?

Uhm... Jane still being missing, cover your 2 days with Wallace?

AVERY

Oh, how is he, by the way?

CHUCK

He’s okay.

TOLEN

Concerned about Jane.

CHUCK

Oh shit, and the FMC is ash.

AVERY

WHAT?

Oh, no!

CHUCK

A pile of sad soggy remains.

AVERY

Damn. What about the two bags Chuck left behind?

CHUCK

You guys keep talking about these “3 bags”, I only remember the one.

There were 3 bags, Chuck. I know because they were MY bags.

TOLEN

Nope, nothing. We walked through that area like 20 times.

00:02:21

AVERY

Uh. How was searching the woods that first night?

TOLEN

Eh, a little creepy? But, it felt wrong not... doing... something? You know?

[Chuck exhales.]

TOLEN (CONT’D)

How’d you guys do? Seems like you had an eventful 2 days yourself?

AVERY

Oh, yes.

There’s a cult!

TOLEN

A what!?

AVERY

RJ! Ixnay on the ult-cay, okay? ... We already threw some stuff together, so we can just play that down for you in the car on the way back.

Liked your music pulls by the way.

TOLEN

Uh, thank you.

AVERY

Yeah it sounds great dropped in.

TOLEN

You really put stuff together already?

AVERY

Just trimmed some fat to save our dwindling storage space and dumped them into folders.

CHUCK

“In the car, on the way back”, those words, so beautiful.

AVERY

Speaking of which, the sooner we scarf this down, the sooner we can hit the

road.

SFX: The team starts really digging in to their breakfast, the sound of cutlery skittering on plates.

00:03:09

How are you guys feeling?

TOLEN

I’ve never been so tired in my entire life-

CHUCK

And sore! Each individual toe on my feet are sore. Even my ears are sore?

Uhm, I meant, more... emotionally?

TOLEN

Shitty. I don’t know why, but Jane still being missing... I don’t know. I don’t know - It feels like my fault?

AVERY

Objectively you know she isn’t your responsibility, right? I mean, not to be too harsh, but we just like met her 3 days ago.

TOLEN

Yes, but it doesn’t make that feeling go away.

Chuck?

CHUCK

Yah?

00:03:45

How are you?

CHUCK

Well, I mean, Wallace is a great cook, so ... I’m fine.

AVERY

That tracks.

CHUCK

I do feel a little guilty for not going back today, but I’d be useless... I really just wanna go home.

AVERY

Me too.

Me three.

TOLEN

Well, we finish up our foods and then boom, we pack up the car, get out of this hell hole.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

Morning.

SFX: Lieutenant Bryce approaches the table with 2 troopers, startling the team.

SFX: The names of troopers are redacted and their voices altered in post, except for Bryce.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE (CONT’D)

I’m Lieutenant Bryce. This is Trooper [BEEP] and Trooper [BEEP]. I believe we met yesterday. You’re Tolen Reid and Charles Young?

TOLEN

Ah, yes sir.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

And miss you are?

AVERY

Uh, Avery.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Avery what?

AVERY

Avery Fischer?

TROOPER 1/BEEP

You asking or telling?

AVERY

Uh-

TROOPER 2/BEEP

And, miss?

Ruby Jean Álvarez.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

Well, Miss Álvarez, Miss Fischer, Miss Young and Mr. Reid, would you mind coming down to the station with us?

AVERY

What?

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

We just have a few questions about your recent involvement with Miss Jane Stanley. She’s still missing and we just need to cover all of our bases.

Uh-

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

Boys, I’mma head over, please escort our new friends to the station.

SFX: Lieutenant Bryce exits.

00:04:44

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Don’t worry it shouldn’t take too long, just a short walk... If you, wouldn’t mind.

SFX: The team gets up and pulls on their jackets. Tolen leans in and grabs the mic.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

What’s all this now?

AVERY

It’s a mic.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

No shit, Sherlock.

TOLEN

Oh, we are recording a podcast, it’s why we are in town... on Jakob Stan-

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Shut it off, or lose it.

SFX: Avery grabs the mic.

AVERY

No problem, we can turn it off-

SFX: And with that the recorder abruptly cuts out.

00:05:04

PODCAST INTRO SEQUENCE

NEWS ANNOUNCER

WN [BEEP REDACTED] TV New York.

MUSIC: [80’s NEWS INTRO THEME]

NEWS ANCHOR ‘83

If your child has been to a school book fair recently, chances are they came home with one of this author’s scary books-

MUSIC: [80’s SUNDAY TALK SHOW THEME]

SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

Our guest’s first anthology leapt to the top of the New York Times Best Sellers list -

MUSIC: [LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW INTRO APPLAUSE]

LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86

- Thank you. Thank you! Over the past few years, he has become a household name -

MUSIC: [PODCAST THEME]

PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- Bridging the gap between Alvin Schwartz and Stephen King -

TV PREACHER

- The devil is among us, friends.

CONGREGATION

AMEN!

TV PREACHER

He’s among us, in the form of a writer. -

SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

- The book might have struggled during it initial release in 1977, but now “Tell Me A Story: Under the Bed That’s Over My Head”, has skyrocketed -

ALSC COMMITTEE REP

- So many parent organizations complained that his work was too sophisticated for children-

TV PREACHER

- He has infiltrated your homes, and your children’s minds-

PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- His second macabre anthology “Tell Me A Story: Moonless Sky and Other Friends” sold out from bookstores in mere minutes. Becoming a controversial -

NEWS ANCHOR ‘83

- Stanley's books ranked on the American Library Association’s “100 Most Frequently Challenged Books” from 1981-1993 -

TV PREACHER

- Stanley’s books promote disobedience, violence and the occult! Lord have mercy -

PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- The 3rd volume in his “Tell Me A Story” collection “The Floor That Creaks, the Closet That Speaks and the Tip Toes That You Walk On” was released in 1986 to mass acclaim -

ALSC COMMITTEE REP

- All that fussing, just made his work more popular -

TV PREACHER

- Check your children’s rooms, check their bookshelves, check their back-packs!-

YOUTUBER

- I do think his final book, released in ‘99, “TMAS: The nightmare, The Dream and the Places Between,” was by far his best work.-

PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- His work has been described as “subversive” and “dark,” I simply describe it as genius.

SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

- It is my pleasure to introduce -

LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86

- Please welcome -

PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- Ladies and gentleman, please welcome -

SUNDAY MORNING TALK SHOW HOST ‘81

- Jakob Stanley.-

LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST ‘86

- Mister Jakob Stanley.

PUBLIC RADIO HOST ‘92

- Author, Jakob Stanley.

[Applause.]

MUSIC: [POD THEME SYNTH]

00:06:45

AVERY/NARRATOR

Little to nothing is known about the life of this elusive author. And since 1999 Jakob Stanley seems to have completely dropped off the face of the earth. Until a short two-line obituary appeared in a small town paper, over a year ago.

TOLEN/NARRATOR

From BOO Labs and Red Cup Media, I'm Tolen Reid -

AVERY/NARRATOR

And I'm Avery Fischer, this is TELL ME A STORY: THE TRUE LIFE OF JAKOB STANLEY.

SFX: The recorder abruptly pops on, it is being manhandled as levels are trying to be adjusted in secret.

SFX: It is a typical sleepy small town police station, the buzz of fluorescent lights, phones ringing off & on in the background, occasional radio chatter.

00:07:17

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

- No. One at a time. Don’t worry, we’ll get you out of here as fast as we can.

SFX: Bryce enters the interview room.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Right this way.

CHUCK

Should we have a lawyer?

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Why? Do something wrong?

AVERY

That’s not why she’s asking.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

You’re not under arrest or anything.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(from the interview room)

Well, now hold on a second, we can get a public defender down here...

(yelling)

Hey [BEEP], when can Billy get here?

TROOPER 3/BEEP

(flatly)

Billy’s in court until 5 today, L.T.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(from the interview room)

There you go, Billy’s in court until 5 today.

00:07:42

TROOPER 1/BEEP

So... you can wait right over there til 5 and you’ll have that lawyer.

And by “over there” you mean that cell?

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Only extra seats we have, really.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Don’t worry, we’ve been told those benches are mighty comfy.

SFX: RJ snaps a picture of the cell with her phone.

TROOPER 3/BEEP

[BEEP], will you please relieve the young lady of her phone.

SFX: Trooper 1 grabs RJ’s phone from her hand.

-Hey!

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Come on, all y’all. Hand, uhm over. ... Don’t just stand there looking stupid, hand over your phones.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Does it really matter, its not like there’s service here?

TROOPER 3/BEEP

[BEEP], get over here.

SFX: Trooper 2 walks over to be reamed out by Trooper 3.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

I said hand, uhm over.

SFX: The group hand over their phones to Trooper 1 and he takes them to the front desk.

TOLEN

Shit.

CHUCK

Can they do that?

AVERY

Evidently.

I’m sorry, I just thought we might want a record of-

AVERY

It’s okay RJ.

CHUCK

I want out of here.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(from the Interview room)

We need to call Billy?

AVERY

Uh, no worries it’s fine, I can go first.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(from the Interview room)

Well, come on in.

SFX: Trooper 1 walks back.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Leave your stuff with your girlfriends and you guys-

AVERY

-I can’t even take my jacket in there? What you afraid I’ll get too warm?

TROOPER 1/BEEP

- Just give her your stuff. And you guys, head on over to the cell. Don’t worry we’ll leave it open.

00:08:50

AVERY

RJ, can you check my front pocket? Make sure I didn’t forget anything.

SFX: Avery passes her coat and bag to RJ, as they head over to the cell. Avery enters the interview room and as the door closes we hear:

AVERY (CONT’D)

So, do we get a phone call or is that only if we’re arrest-

SFX: Fabric rubs against the mic, as RJ makes the realization it is on.

(under her breath)

Oh, shi-

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder abruptly pops on, it is being manhandled fabric rubs against the mic, it cuts in and out. It feels creepy and off-putting. The cops unintelligibly chat over the sound of a ringing phone that goes unanswered in the background for several beats before:

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder abruptly pops on, it is being manhandled as levels are trying to be adjusted in secret.

SFX: Trooper 1 and Trooper 2 are tossing a football back and forth through the office as they talk. Trooper 3 sits at his desk actually doing work. The team sits in the cell along the side wall.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

-Bet it was some kids screwing around in the woods.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

I’m with you on that, brother.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Every few years, dumb shit happens, people get bored.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Nuthin’ to do-

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Nowhere to go.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

What was that “big one” the fire crew was talking about?

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Ah, yeah. Some dumb kid set Farmer Brown’s barn on fire, took out most of the town, like a hundred years ago.

TROOPER 3/BEEP

It was a silo fire in 1959 and it took out 2 square miles of farm land. And knock off that “Farmer Brown” shit, the man’s name is Mr. David Rockland.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

He speaks.

AVERY

Do we know that name?

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Case of yours?

[Trooper 1 & 2 chuckle.]

Uh, Deb told us something?

TROOPER 3/BEEP

Very funny... ya little shit.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Just messing.

AVERY

...Oh, right, they knew the Stanleys.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

[Unintelligible]... - that weird kid did it? The one with the mom?

Yeah. Yeah-yeah-yeah.

TROOPER 3/BEEP

‘Narrows it down.

[Trooper 2 giggles.]

TROOPER 1/BEEP

You know the one I mean. The one -

00:12:00

TROOPER 3/BEEP

- We just had a massive fire and now a missing person, there has got to be something you should be doing.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Calm down man, we needed to tag out for a bit, little siesta.

TROOPER 3/BEEP

Yeah, sure.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Just cause you’re stuck being a house cat, doesn’t mean you get to-

SFX: The sound of a heavy metal chair screeches as Trooper 3 stands, the backs of his legs shoves the chair intimidatingly.

CHUCK

Oh, damn.

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder pops on.

AVERY

Time check: 11:15 AM

SFX: The recorder cuts out.

SFX: Again, the recorder abruptly pops on, it is being manhandled as levels are trying to be adjusted in secret.

SFX: RJ sits close to the bars near Trooper 2’s desk. The entire team sits in the cell, waiting.

00:12:33

- Still can’t believe you’ve seen my show.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

I’ve got a soft spot for ghost hunting shows, watch all of them. Yours stands out tho.

Oh, yeah?

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Oh, yeah, it’s a favorite.

Really?

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Yes, really.

Oh, come on.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Honest.

I don’t believe you.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Your Sallie episode, when you had the pink hair, was fantastic! And the Ohio State Penn one, when your hair was blueish green, whoo, didn’t sleep for a week.

Ha! Neither did I!

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Told ya I’mma fan.

Well, we just shot an ep. at the Mendenhall.

00:13:08

TROOPER 2/BEEP

No shit.

SFX: Trooper 2 slides his office chair right next to the cell.

TROOPER 2/BEEP (CONT’D)

Well then, you gotta go to the Palmer’s place then. You could make a 2-parter with that.

Oh, yeah, the funeral home that’s connected to the Mendenhall.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Could hook you up with Moira. She took over the place when her dad died a little over a year ago.

Really?

TROOPER 2/BEEP

No, problemo. I helped her out with some vandalism issues, so she owes me.

Uh, isn’t that kinda your job though?

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Yeah, but it was off the clock, security work. See, sometimes new folks get a bit of a hazing here. Local kids, nothing serious.

How’s she new if it’s her family’s funeral home?

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Her parent’s divorced when she was little, so she didn’t grow up here.

Uh-

TROOPER 2/BEEP

It’s kinda just the way things are.

Okay.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

There’s this insane looking graveyard up there at Great Cliff. It would be a perfect location for BOO. Right between Palmer’s and St. Lucy’s church -

SFX: Trooper 1 rolls his chair over next to Trooper 2 and RJ.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Hey, love birds, hate to interrupt-

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder pops on, it is being manhandled.

00:14:07

CHUCK

Time check: 1:43 PM

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder abruptly pops on, it is being manhandled fabric rubs against the mic, it cuts in and out. An unintelligible conversation over the cops radio hangs in the background.

[Avery exhales.]

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder pops on. The team sits in the cell, still waiting. Trooper 3 is on the phone.

TROOPER 3/BEEP

(on phone)

No, baby, the, the fire is out, but the Stanley woman still missing. ... Yeah. ... No. ... No. ... We don’t know, search’s still on. ... No, no. I’m in the office, don’t worry. ... We’re questioning people. ... Yes, from the Homestead. Jesus, y’all know more than we do. Like a damn sewing circle. ... Yeah, people are already prattling on about the ‘59 Rockland fire. ... No, I don’t think there’s a connection. ... Oh, that was just a rumor about that Russell boy. ...

CHUCK

Uh, did any one else hear that?

What?

TROOPER 3/BEEP

(on phone)

No, and I don’t think...

AVERY

Hear what?

TROOPER 3/BEEP

(on phone)

Wait.

What?

TROOPER 3/BEEP

(on phone)

- Is that the AC running?

CHUCK

Later, later.

TROOPER 3/BEEP

(on phone)

Damn it, woman. What have I told you about putting that on in October. ... Just, just open a window. ... Oh, I swear to God-

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder pops on.

00:16:25

AVERY

Time check: 2:56 PM.

SFX: The recorder cuts out.

SFX: The recorder pops on, it is being manhandled as levels are trying to be adjusted in secret. RJ sits close to the bars near Trooper 2’s desk. The team sits in the cell, waiting.

Your uncle went to Amherst?

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Yeah, on scholarship.

Is it haunted too?

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Probably! Creepy as all get out. But, the whole town’s like that.

How do you mean?

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Wanna know the real reason I ain’t with the search party?

Sure.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

I’m just too afraid of those woods.

But, you’re a cop... with a gun?

TROOPER 2/BEEP

You think ghosts care about a gun?

Oh. So, you think the woods are haunted too?

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Who else told you they was haunted?

Oh, we interviewed Miss Loretta.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

For BOO?

Yeah, but... uh, we actually came here to research the writer-

TROOPER 3/BEEP

Hey [BEEP], leave that poor girl alone.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Just talkin’ that’s all.

It’s ok, I don’t mind. So, back to the Amherst, would it be worth checking out too.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Definitely! Just watch out for old Gayle. She’s-

TROOPER 3/BEEP

I think that’s enough chit chat for now.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

But, she’s -

TROOPER 3/BEEP

But, nuthin-

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder pops on, it is being manhandled fabric violently rubs against the mic, it cuts in and out. The voices are unintelligible, sounds like ghosts talking in a deep echoey well.

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: Once again, the recorder pops on. Lieutenant Bryce is talking on the phone in his office with the door open.

00:18:21

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(on phone)

Well, ma’am, ... Ma’am. ... Ma’am!

CHUCK

I think someone got their phone call.

AVERY

Oh, someone most certainly did.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(on phone)

Well, ma’am, ... Ma’am. ... Ma’am! ... I’m sorry, Mrs. Whitaker. ...

TOLEN, RJ, AVERY & CHUCK

Ooooooooooohhhh.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(on phone)

I’m sorry DOCTOR Whitaker. ...

CHUCK

Uh, ya damn right.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(on phone)

If I could just... If I could just...

I almost feel bad for the man.

CHUCK & AVERY

I don’t.

[They all giggle snort.]

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(on phone)

Harassment? Now, see here...

[The team can’t help but laugh.]

AVERY

He’s so pink.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(on phone)

We have a missing woman, ma’am...

Guys, stop.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(on phone)

I don’t care if... I don’t care if-

Shit. He sees us.

LIEUTENANT BRYCE

(on phone)

[BEEP], close that damn door. - I don’t care if-

SFX: Lieutenant Bryce’s office door closes. Muffled shouts continue from the office.

[Tolen, RJ, Avery, and Chuck snicker.]

00:19:12

AVERY

Time check...

CHUCK

4:04 PM.

SFX: The recorder cuts out.

SFX: The recorder pops on. The team sits in the cell as Troopers 1 and 2 approach.

AVERY

- Your boss man have a good chit chat?

TOLEN

Avery.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

All right, come on.

SFX: They get up and walk out of the cell.

AVERY

It’s been a blast, but as they say, all good things.

SFX: Tolen hustles Avery along.

TOLEN

Don’t poke the bear.

AVERY

I’m not poking. I love having my basic human rights compromised.

CHUCK

You wanna ask to talk to the manager on the way out?

SFX: Avery comes to a dead stop.

00:19:35

AVERY

OH! Can we get our phones back, please and thank you.

Completely forgot about that.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

Uh, right. Up at the main desk, I’ll grab them.

SFX: Trooper 2 runs passed them to the main desk. They follow.

CHUCK

I cannot believe we got stuck here for another day.

SFX: Trooper 3 begins to exit passed the group.

00:19:48

TROOPER 3/BEEP

Oh, I think it might be a bit longer than that.

CHUCK

What?

TROOPER 3/BEEP

I’m out, boys.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Where you running to?

TROOPER 3/BEEP

Shifts up, and this old house cat is off to get his back scratched.

Ew.

TROOPER 3/BEEP

Ladies.

SFX: Trooper 3 exits the police station.

AVERY

Any one care to clarify the previous statement?

SFX: Trooper 1 walks towards them.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

We would appreciate it if you would be willing to stay in town for a few more days, or at least until we find Miss Stanley.

TOLEN

Are you asking us to not leave town or are you telling us to not leave town?

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Take your pick?

AVERY

What? That doesn’t even make sense.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

It’s a good idea to stick close. At least for a few days? It looks bad if you run. Uh, here your phones.

SFX: Trooper 2 hands RJ the phones.

We wouldn’t be running, we would be going home.

TROOPER 2/BEEP

I know, but...

TROOPER 1/BEEP

If we end up having to drag you back here, it might not be seen in the best light. That’s all we’re saying.

TOLEN

I can’t believe this.

TROOPER 1/BEEP

Oh, you best believe it, son.

TOLEN

Son? I think he might be younger than me?

AVERY

Come on, let’s just get back to the-

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: Suddenly, the recorder abruptly pops back on, it is being violently manhandled, the audio is unintelligible, but voices are raised. Fabric violently rubs against the mic, it cuts in and out.

00:20:43

AVERY

What did you just say?!

TROOPER 1/BEEP

You heard me!

AVERY

Oh I heard you, I just wanted to make sure we caught it on mic. Thanks guys, yous’ have a good day.

SFX: Avery slams the police station door, Tolen, Chuck and RJ rush over to her. Avery storms through the gravel parking lot heading back to the Homestead. Avery plays with the recorder.

AVERY (CONT’D)

Prick!... Shit, I don’t think I caught that, goddamn it. Asshole.

SFX: A car drives by honking its horn.

AVERY (CONT’D)

GO SCREW!

TOLEN

What the hell Avery?

AVERY

That man is a piece of shit.

TOLEN

Yes, I agree. A 100% piece of shit, but a piece of shit, who is a cop.

We got away with it! Why in the hell would you tell them we had a recorder in there?

CHUCK

We were just about out the door?!

TOLEN

I told you to not poke the bear!

SFX: Another car drives by, lightly tapping the horn.

AVERY

OKAY, so I poked the bear. But,... that bear’s a DICK!

TOLEN

A bear dick, who is a COP!

SFX: Another car shoots passed, aggressively honking.

OKAY. DONE. Back to the room, NOW.

SFX: The recorder cuts out.

MUSIC: [POD THEME]

SFX: The recorder clicks on.

SFX: Tolen, RJ and Chuck are listening down to the episode edits in the bedroom at the Homestead, while Avery wallows in the bathtub of the bathroom, wrapped in a blanket surrounded by pillows.

00:21:44

AVERY

Hello. ... Uhhhh. We came back to the Homestead a few hours ago. ... Uh. Everybody’s in the room listening down to what we put together and watching the Mendenhall episode of BOO. ... I am currently hiding in the bathroom.

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder clicks back on. Fabric rubs against the mic, it cuts in and out.

AVERY (CONT’D)

Contrary to my previous exchange with the cops and my tendency to be a prick, I am usually terrified of police. And small town police? No thank you.

[Deep exhale]

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder clicks back on. Fabric rubs against the mic, it cuts in and out.

00:22:34

AVERY (CONT’D)

I still feel like complete crap for losing Chuck’s Stanley gloves at the Mendenhall. But I promise I am going contact [BEEP/Caretaker] and get them before we leave town.

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder clicks back on.

00:22:46

AVERY (CONT’D)

Man, where the hell is Jane? Like I know I told Tolen not to feel bad, but now I’m starting to feel really bad and really guilty. And its really annoying. ... I mean, what if us showing up, asking questions, I don’t know... never mind.

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

SFX: The recorder clicks back on. Fabric rubs against the mic.

AVERY (CONT’D)

Why didn’t she tell us Stanley owned the grounds of the Mendenhall? Why would he even buy it in the first place? ... I’m full of questions... Like, did Stanley get kicked out of Amherst? Who was this assistant? And he was married? ... Did he see that ghost woman hang herself?

SFX: Suddenly, we hear Tolen through the bathroom door.

TOLEN

(faint/muffled)

And who posted his obituary?

00:23:38

(faint/muffled)

Avery?

CHUCK

(faint/muffled)

Did she pass out?

AVERY

No. I just didn’t realize how thin these walls were.

TOLEN

(faint/muffled)

Yeah, uh -

CHUCK

(faint/muffled)

You can hear everything.

AVERY

Good to know.

TOLEN

(faint/muffled)

Hey, uh, Avery. You guys made a good call, recording at the station.

CHUCK

(faint/muffled)

Dumb to taunt the cops with it, but-

AVERY

I know. I’m sorry.

(faint/muffled)

Hey Avery... you don’t think it was Jane who tried to call us... that morning? I didn’t even remember it till’ we listened back to everything. I didn’t mention it to the police, did you?

AVERY

I complete forgot about that when they questioned me.

TOLEN

(faint/muffled)

Me too.

(faint/muffled)

Do we go back to the station and tell them?

CHUCK

(faint/muffled)

Are you kidding? We don’t know if it was her?

00:24:24

AVERY

She’s right. It could have been a random call?

CHUCK

(faint/muffled)

Someone trying to get a hold of the mainline of the Homestead?

(faint/muffled)

Tolen?

TOLEN

(faint/muffled)

Uh, I don’t know what we should do. But, I think we need some space between us and them... for now.

CHUCK

(faint/muffled)

Avery really screwed the pooch -

AVERY

- I said I was sorry.

(faint/muffled)

Okay, but if we find out anything that hints that it could have been Jane, I’m going straight to that station, with or without you guys.

CHUCK

(faint/muffled)

Preferably without.

(faint/muffled)

Uhm, Avery?

AVERY

Yeah?

(faint/muffled)

Do you mind?

00:25:01

AVERY

What?

(faint/muffled)

Coming out of the bathroom? I’ve had to pee for like 20 minutes.

AVERY

Oh, yes, of course.

SFX: Avery starts climbing from the tub, fabric rubs against the mic.

TOLEN

(faint/muffled)

I think we should start at the Amherst tomorrow.

(faint/muffled)

And then hit up David Rockland’s farm.

CHUCK

(faint/muffled)

Yeah, see if your boy was a fire starter.

00:25:14

AVERY

Wait, what?

TOLEN

(faint/muffled)

That seems like a waste of time.

CHUCK

(faint/muffled)

Does it?

SFX: Avery opens the bathroom door.

AVERY

Uh... So, we’re still all in? To keep working on... this?

TOLEN

Are you kidding?!

SFX: RJ enters the bathroom as Avery exits with the mic.

Absolutely.

CHUCK

What else are we gonna do?

TOLEN

And good job on the edit.

AVERY

It's just a rough shuffle of files.

TOLEN

Nonononono, it works.

AVERY

Music ties it all together.

TOLEN

Thank you.

(from the bathroom)

And that intro montage is super slick.

SFX: RJ begins to pee.

TOLEN

Should we close the door?

Up to you at this point, I can’t reach it from here.

AVERY

Yes, right.

SFX: Avery shuts the bathroom door.

TOLEN

Sorry.

00:25:48

AVERY

Uhm, Chuck... What’s with Stanley being a “fire starter”?-

(faint/muffled)

- AWE! You made a bathtub pillow fort in here!

SFX: The recorder abruptly cuts out.

MUSIC: [POD THEME]

SFX: The mic pops on.

AUTOMATED VOICE

(over phone line)

You have one new message. First voice message:

PROFESSOR WHITAKER

(over phone line)

Not only, do I not approve of this little road trip of yours, but the first time I actually get one of you on the phone, it’s a call from jail? And, not only that, but you expect me to get you out of jail. What in the sweet hell are y’all playing at? You know you weren’t arrested, right? Coulda’ walked outta there at anytime? Jeeze Louise. AND some woman’s missing? - You know what, I’m not your momma, so I’m not gonna act like it. You people are adults, don’t come crying to me. I said don’t use the university’s name, that includes invoking me to save ya butts. You get one, and you already used it. And don’t think I haven’t noticed y’all call my office line after hours, ya little shits. Tomorrow night 5:30pm, I’ll call YOU.

SFX: Whitaker slams down the phone. There is a loud beep and the mic cuts off.